The Books of R. J. Brown

STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift

       In this new expanded second edition of STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift, Lincoln Brown, at age 89 is in a Seattle hospital where his doctors tell him he has congestive heart failure, & give him just three months left to live.
       Lincoln reminds his son of the promise given that he would not die in a hospital. His son drives Lincoln home to his cabin in the Olympic Peninsula rainforest so he can die in his own bed. His son & daughter-in-law, with the aid of a home health agency crew, begin standing the watch, without the company of either doctor or pastor. At first in shifts, then in tandem they continue to honor their vow to the very end.
       When R. J. Brown was 14, at home in London, England, her father was felled by rheumatoid arthritis. After months of decline, cared for by his wife & nurses, he died from pneumonia the day after Christmas. RJ's mother promptly exiled her for weeks to a family friend. On her return home, she learnt quickly not to make any mention of her Daddy. No one would talk with her, answer her questions about death nor give any solace for her sadness. Forty-two years later the Cosmos gives RJ a second chance, & she willingly devotes herself to whatever time her father-in-law has left. It turns out to be just thirteen days.
       As Lincoln's caregivers, RJ & her husband have, for years, kept a medical log for the State. Now, in STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift, she weaves excerpts from this log with memories of family, friends who have died, e-mails between her ether correspondents, essays about life & death plus a bibliography of books she found comforting & lists that were useful.
       In this her first memoir, R. J. Brown gently shares with you what she learnt & what it took to stand The Watch during her beloved Poppa's final days.
       As we Baby-Boomers are faced with taking care of our aging parents we have to ask the last big question: How shall we leave this world? Standing The Watch at a home death is no walk in the park of peace & harmony, it can be frightening, time-consuming, worrying, stressful, unpleasant & tedious. It is also fertile ground for courage, discipline, stamina, spirituality, compassion, loyalty, humor & love.
       So who has the time to waste waiting for someone to die? There's nothing money can buy that gives more comfort. Nothing anyone can do or make other than give of their presence and time to bid you bon voyage. For in the meditation of Standing The Watch, you are in the pulse of life, totally present in the here and now, giving unconditional support.
       And the greatest gift? It goes both ways: you giving of your strength and caring, with the understanding that this time it isn't about you, while your parents, for the last time, give you this once-in-a-lifetime experience. There are no dress rehearsals for this.
       If you've decided to care for your parents in their final days, R. J. Brown's memoir, STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift, offers answers to your questions, comfort for your fears & insights into your worries.

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