The Books of R. J. Brown

STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift

Kate Holmes writes:

During a recent online search, I met R. J. Brown, who offered me the opportunity to review her own book. She will never know what a priviledge this is for me! I approached STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift with great interest, and was immediately drawn to this tiny family, a husband and his wife, and his elderly father, sharing a piece of land with a dog who is more like a family member than a pet. This wife is R. J. Brown, and these are her memories.

As we accompany Lincoln Brown in his journey through the Shadow of Death, his daughter-in-law shares the wisdom gained from the experience of Standing The Watch for her much loved Elder. A vivid sense of humour is evident in the liberally scattered and light-hearted ancedotes. This is surely a tribute to a tradition that is sadly lacking in much of our modern day society. The pain is clear in her recollection of a relative whose ride to church took priority over talking with a relative who was watching his dear father slowly die. How sad is this?

The author lists the lessons learned from sitting with her Elder and assisting him through his last days. For example, she writes, “What I have learnt, from this home death that I could not have learnt any other way, is that money and possessions aside, time is all we own...That each breath is not to be taken for granted, rather it is to be relished with wonder. That each blooming flower is an opportunity, and each falling leaf a memory.” This is only a sample.

Happily, R. J. Brown ends this list with, “That I am much stronger than I ever thought I was.” This is perhaps the one single most telling piece of evidence in favor of home death. She is as honest in her assessment of the professionals in modern society as she is fiercely tender in her regards toward her much loved Poppa, her husband, and the supportive online friends who stuck with both her through this troublesome and exhausting time.

It is perhaps co-incidental that in this past month I have lost a dear friend who I was unable to say goodbye to. STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift has been a godsend to me as I devoured each chapter and page. I was able to look back upon sitting with my own elder and sharing with her this part of her journey. I was blessed to know that she left with no remorse, or regret. Although she had to be hospitalized for her transition, she was able to leave a group of professional people teary-eyed because of her apparent joy in joining her husband whom she had missed for many years.

An e-mail received from friend Carolyn sent some days before the elder Brown's death is just one of many lifelines that helped to pull this courageous and loving couple through. It reads, “By attending death with the same seriousness as birth we learn how to die. We gather around to welcome new life, yet disappear when a loved-one signals it's time to die. This is why you must make space in your schedule for writing STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift.” What a gift we have received, and what a lesson we can take from the experience of R. J. Brown and her husband and author D. H. BROWN.

STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift is a compelling endorsement for home death, as well as a lesson in the social, financial and psychological impact of death, providing a list of books that deal with many of life's more difficult issues including grief. A short, but fascinating eulogy pays tribute to the life of this most endearing man whose epitaph reads, Here Lies A Good Man.

I will personally, never forget this man and his loving children. Thank you R. J. Brown, for sharing so intimate a part of your life to help enrich the lives of others. STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift will definitely become an Old Friend in my home.

Kate Holmes

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