The Books of R. J. Brown

STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift

Author Irene Zabytko writes:

After reading R. J. Brown's compellling and in many ways, groundbreaking STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift, I couldn't help wishing that this book had been around when my family was caring for my father who succumbed to Alzheimer's. What a comfort it would have been to have had it nearby and to follow Rebecca and D. H. BROWN's thirteen day odyssey as they cared for Lincoln, during the last weeks of his life.

There are many remarkable things about this book -- one of the most obvious is the extraordinary bond between David and his father, and how the son kept his promise to care for him at home. Rebecca's solid support of her husband's decision and her unwavering devotion to her father-in-law is no less than heroic. Both are compassionate people who loved Lincoln enough to honor his wishes to remain at home in his beloved cabin on the Olympic Peninsula, until, at 89 years of age, he drew his last breath.

Despite the frustrations of uncaring doctors, distancing relatives and a cold clergyman, Rebecca and David persevere and overcome the exhausting, heart-wrenching, nearly twenty-four hour daily watch over Lincoln's declining condition. They find solace in each other and in the caring friends and nurses, and allow Lincoln's needs to dominate their own lives.

In lesser hands, this journey of a life ending could have been depressing and tedious, but R. J. Brown is such an exceptional and engaging writer, that we are willing to follow her wherever she takes us. Her compassionate and sensitive tone allows us to see Lincoln beyond his age and illness. Through her eyes, we come to appreciate Lincoln as a man who had humor, common sense, loyalty, who deeply cared for his family.

Rebecca also allows us a glimpse into her own fascinating life -- of growing up as an adopted child in England during the war, her journey to America, and the serendipitous encounter with the love of her life, David.

STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift is not only a wise book, it is a practical and welcome guide in caring for our elderly in our homes -- a topic Americans are not at all comfortable with confronting. R. J. Brown's experience gently teaches us the tough lessons of helping a loved one leave the world with dignity. As she modestly put it: “That I can be generous beyond my imaginings with the only thing I truly own, my time, and that giving of my time to a loved-one who is dying, is really the only gift I have to offer...That I am stronger than ever I thought I was.”

For those of us who are placed in the overwhelming position of caring for aging and ill parents, STANDING THE WATCH: The Greatest Gift is invaluable for its wisdom, humor, sensitivity and the opportunity to meet these two exceptional people.

Irene Zabytko is the Author of The Sky Unwashed

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